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health enews staff is a group of experienced writers from our Advocate Health Care and Aurora Health Care sites, which also includes freelance or intern writers.
It’s common to hear about bullying among children, but millions of adults are also bullied. This is especially true for people pleasers who are often the primary target of bullies.
People pleasers tend to give into unspoken social pressures, according to one study. If a people pleaser’s friend was having a dessert (candy, in this particular study), the pleaser often matched the amount their friend ate just so they wouldn’t feel uneasy about what they were consuming.
“While it is great to get along with everyone, it’s important to realize that this isn’t always going to be the case,” says Marie Mauter, employee assistance program counselor at Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital in Barrington, Ill. “Some people pleasers are continuing to play a role they held in their family of origin. Oftentimes, it is accompanied by low self-esteem.”
Besides possible weight gain, focusing on pleasing others can be detrimental to one’s mental health and self-worth, but experts believe people have the ability to stop from always saying “yes.”
Mauter offers four tips to break the trap of people-pleasing:
“People pleasers need to learn that it is OK to say ‘no,’ especially in circumstances where they feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed,” Mauter says. “It’s also helpful to realize that people probably won’t care as much as the people pleaser thinks.”
health enews staff is a group of experienced writers from our Advocate Health Care and Aurora Health Care sites, which also includes freelance or intern writers.
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