Can you learn self-control overnight?

Self-control is a meaningful predictor of success. So, what can you do if you don’t have willpower to resist temptations?

“For most people, willpower is a really tough tool and can be pretty unreliable,” says Dr. Jennifer Sprague, a psychiatrist at Advocate Health Care. “However, self-control can be learned, but it doesn’t happen overnight.” 

How to learn self-control over time: 

1. Create a burden-free environment

Self-control begins with planning for success. 

“People need to make a really healthy environment, one that takes as much willpower out of the equation,” Dr. Sprague says. “Make an environment that works for you so you’re not constantly having to use that activation energy to do things.”  

Having a routine helps you visualize what self-control looks like. By creating a plan and an environment that supports it, you create a framework of success even when the unforeseeable presents itself. 

Once you have a plan, set easy-to-find reminders. This helps you achieve success without having to obsessively keep it top of mind. 

2. Rely on those around you

Friends and family members can hold you accountable. Whether it’s reminding you of your goals, reinforcing your success, or simply helping you avoid temptation or failure, getting support doesn’t replace self-control – it amplifies it. 

“Whether it’s eating healthy, exercising, building healthy habits or just getting better sleep, success relies on how you make your environment or social circle as organized as possible so that your goals don’t require as much self-control to begin with,” Dr. Sprague explains. 

3. Share your success 

Whether you are trying a new diet, building a new exercise habit or studying for an exam, inviting other people to do it with you doesn’t just keep you accountable, it helps ingrain the behavior into your identity.  

When other people associate you with an action that requires self-control, it’s easier to see that willpower in yourself. Once you begin to identify yourself as someone who can exert self-control, you are more likely to actually have self-control. 

4. Perfection is not the goal

Sometimes the problem is using too much self-control or willpower at once. This hardcore dedication can lead to great early results but risks burnout in the future.

“Dedication is great, but life is all about balance,” Dr. Sprague says. “It’s OK to be flexible and indulge sometimes. I think there’s a happy medium between rigidity and flexibility.” 

Falling short of your goals should be a possibility you are aware of from the beginning. A moment or day of failure is not defeat unless that failure becomes routine. When you fall short, pick yourself up and keep going. 

If you or someone you know is exhibiting signs of emotional distress, call or text the suicide & crisis lifeline at 988.    

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